I didn’t name this blog “nansense” for nothin’, ya know…

Trying to shake my Memorial Day depression…thinking about war, death, valor, family, bravery, hospitals, parades, loneliness, and love all day long will do that.

I know 3 sets of alternate lyrics to the “Colonel Bogey March.” I bet most Americans know some variation of these. But I wonder if there are any others. Oddly, the song doesn’t seem to have any original lyrics. If there were, I think I’d like to know them.


Hitler, he only has one ball
Göering has two, but rather small
Himmler has something similar
But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all

Comet, it makes your teeth turn green
Comet, it tastes like gasoline
Comet, it makes you vomit
So get your Comet, and vomit, today

I don’t know what’s more unbelievable…that I blogged this, or that there’s a Wikipedia entry about it, complete with illustration…in case you Googled for the song but don’t know what a can of Comet looks like, of course.

Skippies, they make your feet feel fine
Skippies, they cost a nickel and a dime
Skippies, they’re made for hippies
So get your skippies, for hippies, today

“Skippies” is a term for cheap sneakers. If someone sings this song to you, you’re wearing the wrong shoes. I’m sure there are regional variations depending on the local slang term for cheap sneakers. I never actually heard sneakers called “skippies” except in this song.

And if you hum this tune and ask the name of the song, I’m pretty sure most Americans would say “Comet,” or maybe “Bridge on the River Kwai,” or “the Getty commercial theme,” depending on age. So I’m actually doing a public service here.

It’s the “Colonel Bogey March.” It was written in 1914, but the movie “Bridge on the River Kwai” made it famous in the late 1950s.

(If you’re a word nerd, read the article about the original song to find out how the word “bogey” got into the title!)

This didn’t work. I’m still depressed, but now I’m depressed and embarrassed.

I think I’ll go clean the sink. Maybe that will help.


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